


Letterkenny GO

by Haywire



Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: Characters Playing Pokemon GO, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 01:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8948821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haywire/pseuds/Haywire
Summary: Stewart, Jonesy, and Reilly all happen upon the same spot in search of something special, but Wayne and company have something to say about that.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pantsoffdanceoff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pantsoffdanceoff/gifts).



> Written for pantsoffdanceoff. The idea popped in my head and simply wouldn't go away, I hope you enjoy it!

Stewart fidgeted with his phone, staring at the screen as he sauntered through town. He was on his own today; the rest of his acolytes were back at the house, likely either sleeping or coming down.

Yes, the day was his, indeed, and he was going to make the best of it.

He cranked up the volume another notch, losing himself in the most recent house electronic playlist he’d handcrafted himself at the height of his manic state the previous night. Then he focused on the task at hand, tracking notifications on his phone until he was almost at his destination.

Coming to a stop, Stewart looked up and instantly recognized where he was.

“Fuck.”

He was standing in front of Wayne and Katy’s house, the produce standing off to one side being his destination. Steward hadn’t realized that was his actual target; it was simply labeled as ‘local merchant’ in the app. It was apparent to him now that Wayne’s produce stand was the pokéstop he was searching for, unfortunately.

To even further surprise, there was a gym just further down the driveway, centered on their barn. How that had happened Stewart had no idea, but that didn’t really matter now. It was what it was, and he had a job to do.

Except he was no longer alone.

“Well now, look what we have here, buddy,” sang out a familiar voice. Stewart swiped a finger on his phone to switch apps, pausing his music as he looked to see Reilly and Jonesy hopping out of their jeep.

“I think someone got lost while they were out looking for pokégoth, bro,” said Jonesy.

“More like pokémeth,” added Reilly, fistbumping his teammate.

“No,” Stewart replied, lowering his phone and turning the screen away from the pair of hockey players. “I was just checking my email, that’s all. I - wait. How would you know what that looks like, hmm, boys?”

“We don’t,” said Jonesy, whose response was immediately followed by the startup music of the Pokémon Go app. He quickly shoved his phone into his pocket, and Reilly did the same with his own phone.

“Pokémon is for skids and hicks, we’re, uh.” He paused and looked over to his buddy.

“We’re here for Katy, natch,” Jonesy added.

“Yeah, Katy, natch. Beauty answer, bro, good thinking.” Reilly offered a high five to Jonesy, who slapped his hand hard.

“You’re the fully licensed, certified, registered beautician here.”

“You guys realize that I’m standing right here and can hear every word you say, right?” Stewart shook his head and smirked at them. “Regardless, methinks the laddies doth protest too much!” He pointed his finger at the pair, raising his phone in his other hand. “You’re here for the same reason I am. J’ACCUSE!”

“Actually it’s irregardless, you dumb fuck, and I didn’t even know Katy had a jacuzzi so that’s not why we’re here at all.” Reilly sneered at the skid, bumping Jonesy with his elbow. “He thinks he can get in Katy’s jacuzzi.”

“As if. But seriously, Katy has a jacuzzi now? Here, dude, hold my spitter.” Jonesy handed Reilly an almost empty Gatorade bottle which did not in fact hold any Gatorade. He took off his hat, hauling his shirt off over his head before replacing his hat atop his head and taking back the plastic bottle. “Where is it? Let’s go!”

Stewart just shook his head. He opened his mouth to offer another retort, but stopped when his phone vibrated in his hand. His eyes went wide when he looked at it, and almost simultaneously Reilly and Jonesy’s phones buzzed as well.

“Holy shit,” said Jonesy. “Do you see what I’m seeing, bro?”

“Dude,” Reilly said in a half whisper. “I thought we were tellin’ Stewart that we weren’t playing the whole pokémon thing.”

“Fuck that, just look at which one it is!” Jonesy started for the driveway, pointing as he went. “It’s down there, let’s go! Just like in practice, bud. Two on one, late in the third, Reilly and Jonesy with the game on the line!”

“I WAS HERE FIRST!” screamed Stewart, kicking up dust as he whirled around and ran towards Wayne and Katy’s house.

He came to an abrupt stop when he nearly collided with Wayne himself, who was now standing in the middle of the driveway, arms folded.

“And what the fuck might you ragtag bunch of degenerates think you’re going, might I ask?” He spat on the ground, not moving an inch. Daryl rested against a fencepost off to one side, with Dan standing on the other side, thumbs hooked through his pair of suspenders.

“We’re in hot pursuit of this,” Stewart said, holding up his phone to show Wayne the alert of the nearby pokémon, a Ditto. “And I was here first so clearly I have first dibs. Now if you’ll kindly move out of my way…”

He stepped to the left, and Wayne moved to block him. When Stewart moved back the other way, Wayne mirrored his movements, not letting him pass.

“You shall not pass, Lord of the Ringworm. Time to Shadowfuck off,” said Reilly with a laugh.

“Totally got Gandalf’d, bro. Fly, you fucking fool,” added Jonesy, giving Reilly another fistbump.

“How dare you invoke the works of Tolkien in such a fashion!” spat Stewart, turning to shout at the hockey players.

“Take your sci-fi / fantasy / what the fuck ever convention somewhere else, preferably anywhere that is not my property,” said Wayne.

“Preferably anywhere that’s not within earshot of me,” Daryl added.

“Yeah, take a hint and fuck off, Stewart.” Reilly and Jonesy started toward Wayne, who then moved to block the pair as well. “Dude what the hell?”

“Same goes to you two rink rats,” Wayne said. “Shouldn’t you be warming a bench somewhere right about now?”

“Picking up pucks after practice?” chimed in Daryl, alternating with Wayne.

“Driving the zamboni?”

“Selling overpriced day old hot dogs and popcorn at the concession stand?”

“Anything but actually playing fucking hockey and scoring goals?” finished Wayne.

“Coach says we can kill penalties since we take so many of them,” Reilly said in a hurt tone.

“Dude I think he was being sarcastic, and, like, we can’t kill ‘em if we’re in the box,” Jonesy mumbled.

“Shit, yeah, that’s true,” Reilly replied. “Still, come on, bro. It’s fucking Ditto!”

“What?” asked Wayne.

“Ditto,” said Jonesy.

“Ditto to what?” Daryl asked, taking a few steps closer.

“No, _Ditto_ ,” growled Stewart, holding up his phone to show Wayne and Daryl in frustration.

“I’m gonna need you to take it down about twenty percent there, Stewart,” Wayne replied, not even looking in his direction. “Now all three of you need to make a tree and fuck off out of here.” He spat once again. “Unless you’re looking for a fight.”

“It’s on like Donkey Kong,” Reilly said, whipping out his phone. “Get your phone out and we’ll do this shit!”

“I’ve got your six, bro,” added Jonesy, taking his phone out as well.

“Oh please, I can whip all of you at one time with the weakest of my warriors!” Stewart began tapping away on his own device, all while Wayne, Daryl, and Dan stared at the three of them.

“The only fightin’ I’m talking about involves a whole different type of pokes, along with jabs, punches, and knuckles.” Wayne cracked his knuckles for emphasis.

“Shit, it’s gone,” Jonesy said before anyone else could say or do anything. Reilly and Stewart both cursed aloud as they confirmed it on their own phones. “Fuck this, let’s go get some protein shakes, bro.”

“Sweet idea, broheim, beef up before practice this afternoon.” Reilly handed Jonesy back the shirt he’d taken off earlier.

The pair hopped back in their jeep, blaring the radio as they backed out of the driveway and tore down the road towards town.

Stewart fumed as they left, then turned his ire onto Wayne and the rest. “I’ll be back, for you cannot simply hoard all the best pokémon in town! Net neutrality demands that the internet remain free for all!”

Wayne took one step toward him before Stewart turned tail and ran, heading in the same direction as the jeep and waving his hands to clear away the dust clouds the vehicle had kicked up in its wake.

“What the hell was that all about?” Dan asked.

“Damned if I know, but I’ll tell you one thing, next time they come to the property of the toughest fighter in Letterkenny they best come prepared.” He nodded in confirmation, spitting once more before sliding his thumbs into the belt loops of his jeans. Wayne then turned about face and marched back onto his property, with Daryl and Dan in tow.

From an open second story window on the side of the house, Katy smirked at her brother and his friends before looking back at the “Pokémon Caught!” message on her phone. She placed her latest catch to the gym she held on their property, under the handle of LK_Champ.

“Ditto,” she agreed as she lowered her phone and closed the window.


End file.
